It's not yet New Year's but with the death of my Facebook account I felt I should come up with some resolutions to justify my actions:

1. Bang out damn good grad school essays
2. Read more papers for work
3. Stop oversharing. This includes spending time swimming in the sea of music, videos and websites... then bombarding my friends with them. (This links to #1 and #2)
4. Advocate face-to-face interactions with my beloved friends THEN show them those crazy videos and music.

That said, I do miss the virtual version of life. I never need to wait for a response there - either it's instantaneous, or I get a notification when it occurs.

The internet is changing the way we interact, but I don't think I'm fully ready to commit to that... Yet. I need to go to a bookstore and remind myself of the weight and smell of books.

Over lunch (Thai; alright but shit service)
A: Have you ever noticed how your internet connection slows down massively in the evenings? It's like after dinner, the entire island decides to collectively download their porn or something.

Tuesday night, 11.30pm

M: Babe wat's ur skype? I have no other way to contact u other than text!
L: when I dL the new version i'll add u. What're u doin now wanna drink
M: I will show this to ur mom. Haha I'm abt to turn in hun. Tragedy of the working class.
L: Ur working tmr? Eeps. I is sad. Okay. Haha no my mom knows i feel like drinking. I just poured a glass of 80% vodka 20% ribena in front of her. Haha. K cant wait till u can hang out proper.
M: I love ur definition of 'proper'.
L: Please dont drive.

Excerpts irrelevant to this story have been edited out.

Submitted 2 out of 8 apps today! Eggxxcitingggzzz. Probably get 2 more done by this Friday so I can really unwind with the girls over a few drinks at Orgo xx

M: btw, send by email i disabled fb
C: why are you off facebook!!
M: I'm off cos i'm sick of constant updates
I think I'm borderline antisocial.
C: ...Ok la got me worried at least it's only cos u hate other ppl hahaha

Met up with Liz last night. So good to see her again! Missed her in all her ditzy and paranoid yet sexy confident glory. It was with mild regret that I had a. driven b. picked Arab St as a meeting place and c. to write grad sch essays and thus could not drink with her. All shall be made right once again come Dec 8 when the last of the US applications are due. Hurrah!

Essay writing has been a relatively modular process - cutting, pasting, editing. It's my irrational need to sound personal and sentimental that makes me spend entire days worrying over sentence structure and word choice, poring over websites to unearth that RARE QUALITY of the school or researcher that GENERATIONS OF APPLICANTS BEFORE ME HAVE SOMEHOW MISSED.

I like recording my thoughts. It makes me realise what a fool I am. And what a grand thing that is :)

Give an example of something non science that you feel you excel in: (500 char max)
Not looking like a scientist.
(29 characters used. 471 characters left.)

The Secret Handshake - Want You

Probably a song to round up the night (or make it last?), but it made my Sunday afternoon nonetheless -



Also found this site by Todd Owyang while searching for the video. Offered a good read for the next 15 minutes that didn't make me feel like I was actually wasting time that should be spent informing graduate schools why I am the Messiah of PhD students.

I did it - I disengaged.

From now on, communication is a one-way street.

Taking the publishing back off Facebook to compartmentalize my musings.

This is the quiet walk through the park alone version of me;
that's the picnic in the park version of me. Or Party in the Park. Heh.

Haven't woken up to an empty house on a Sunday in a long time.
Feels good.
Cat woke me up - loudly crying from outside the house
She jumped out the window sometime during the night
She never remembers how much higher the window is from outside.
Coffee
Cereal (Mr Marks! Mr Spencer! How nice to see you this morning!)
Paolo Nutini
Check email.
Check Facebook.

I need to disengage, seriously.

'Cause now my best friend, my partner in crime - I'm afraid it looks like we're gonna have to go our separate way. You see the thing is I love you, I love you, but I resent you all the same.

It's strange the way friendships and relationships work these days. Chatting, texting, emailing... We're inundated with 'requests' to socialize and compelled to be right in the crossfire of virtual conversations. Yet, if we choose to we can disengage at anytime. If I switch my computer and phone off, NOBODY can get to me. Few know my address, and none of them are in the country.
It makes me feel very alone, knowing that's all it takes for my friends to forget me.
So it's a good thing I like loneliness.
It's nice to be able to filter out the noise and hear my own thoughts once in a while.

Maybe I SHOULD apply to Barcelona. Or Dresden. Or Sweden.
Be away from familiarity
for the next
5
years
It will pass before I know it, anyway.
It always does