Snow, snow everywhere and not a drop to drink

Once in a while I get a quiet night in when I don't have a mountain of tasks to defeat. Once in a while, I get a night like this.

We had our first snow yesterday. I was in class at 4pm, the sky was already the shade of almost-midnight/navy blue that I intend to get my next wool walker coat in. We could see delicate fluffy flakes float by the window. It was very magical walking to lab after the snow had begun to fall. I hummed Winter Wonderland while waiting for the bus.

Obviously the next morning all love for snow had melted with it and all that was left behind was pure fear and hatred for slippery sidewalks and the unforgiving cold. I wore leggings underneath my jeans. It begins. *sigh*

Usually I'd be really eager to hit the bars on a Friday night, but tonight I'm staying in and watching The Soup and random clips of SNL on Hulu. Why, you might ask, why would one pass up the chance to debauch?

1. It's fucking cold outside.
2. It's fucking icy and slippery outside.
3. I am going snowboarding tomorrow.

YES! SOME ACTIVITY RESEMBLING EXERCISE! I should probably dig around for my gloves etc now before tomorrow morning. We hit the road at 8.30am (omg) but only just for a few blocks to go to the Ski and Snowboard Resale and maybe unnecessarily purchase a snowboard. Or just pick up some cute boots/ mittens. The possibilities are endless!

Well that's all the update I have for now. Until next time!

Hello!

Just wanted to say I'm not bored and depressed anymore. Slightly bored, still, but not depressed!

Went shopping this weekend and miraculously cured myself of down-ness. :D

We have our on days, and our off days. I've been having an off week. I've been doing nothing but bitch and complain all week about my life, probably because it's been raining the whole time and that really gets me down.

After a good dance session tonight with friends though, everything seems right in the world again. I guess the routine and mundanity of school, the dreary weather, the general drudgery of it all... It all got to me. I let it get to me, rather. Patience and tolerance have always been a struggle for me. I was so so so sick of everything. I just wanted to get away. And I got away for a bit tonight. Tonight I felt like I was back at home, in that pseudo-club full of hot sweaty asian kids, most of whom were drunk and falling over themselves. Skinny girls grinding their skinny asses away. It was like being in Phu but with a little more space and less air-conditioning.

I sometimes do wonder if I'm in the right place here. I feel happiest when it feels like home. Except that the boys are cuter here. Heh.

They say one of the symptoms of depression is a lack of interest in everything.

I don't think what I have is depression, more like I am unfortunate enough to be stuck where nothing exciting happens. The general boredom has spread to every aspect of my life and somehow crept into the psyche of my mind.

I now expect things to be boring.

I feel sad for myself.

Ok the blasts for the past need to stop RIGHT NOW.

Freeeeeaking me out seriously man.

What is with this barrage of primary school friends hunting me down on Facebook?!

Well ok the main thing that freaks me out is how I immediately recognized their names and/or faces. I thought they would be unrecognizable (after all, the last time I saw them was when we were 8...) BUT NO, THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME... Just stretched out and wearing funkier clothes.

WOW.

Wait till Lucy hears about this.

Just baked pineapple tarts! Here's a look:



And the aftermath of dishes :(

For my first attempt (alone, w/o Vanessa's supervision), sans weighing scale (I googled approximate gram-cup conversions heh) I would say it's not too bad. I was a little heavy-handed with the flour, and the jam was too sweet (again!) but the combination with the dry-er pastry with the sweet-er jam negated each other so YAY FOR LUCKY BREAKS!

Took me about 4-5 hours in total. :O
Prob be faster the next time I do it... Jam took >1 hour to thicken. The molding of the tarts also took eons. My neck hurts from hovering over the kitchen table.

If you're wondering about the peculiar shape of my tarts... It's because I used a soup spoon to mold them!! HAHAHA. The dough was too dry and crumbly to roll into balls so I had to use the spoon. I would have used an ice-cream scoop if I had one but no :(



I think they're kinda cute, regardless... Like little armadillos. :D

And now it's time for an afternoon nap... Ah...

So this weekend I welcomed my first couchsurfer. He's a very unusual type of guy... Let's just say I did not sleep well this weekend, was constantly worried for his (and my) welfare, and resolve to scrutinize everybody's references (or lack thereof) from now on... INTENSELY.

With the same intensity that I tweeze my brows. I spend at least 10 mins with my face up against the mirror, sometimes my fingers cramp up - it's very intense.

Edgar also stayed over during the weekend in case I needed a latino lover to wield 2 knives and defend me from the worrying couchsurfer surfing my couch. He was pretty scared himself though


Ugh I feel evil complaining about my couchsurfer on my blog. Please ask discretely if you want details.

Some nice things that happened this weekend:

Went to the Farmer's Market and saw some really pretty/ cool things -


'Tu va bien' in French means 'You are good', which figuratively speaking, probably means 'It's all good' or something to that effect...

Pretty flowers that I wish I could buy... But judging by how my basil plant got taken over by disease and weeds in 2 days, I'm going to leave the gardening to the professionals.


Aside from the Farmer's Market, I also went to the Henry Vilas Zoo for the first time!! That was pretty fun, babysitting my CS-er aside. It's pretty small and the landscapes aren't as cool as the one at home. But it was nice to just be in a fun environment with kids running around... The orangutan looked like an overgrown redheaded mop though. The poor thing looked like he had dredlocks, I wanted to shave him.

Eurotrip update: I have accom settled for every place except Venice! Yayyy... And I feel like I'm going to be staying with reaaaally cool people while I'm travelling. I need to think of good gifts for all of them. The girls in Malta seem pretty chill and into cute/ sophisticated things. The guy in Pisa is vegetarian, so I'm going to find some good tofu recipes to sample. The girl in Bucharest... I don't know what she likes! I'll just bring a random souvenir from Singapore/ Wisconsin... The guy in Sofia looks really cool, I might get him a cigar or something. Or more food.

Maybe I should just hit up the asian supermarket and get snacks before I go.

I'M SOOO EXCITEDDDDDDD WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh Rock and Roll fun fact of the day: Did you know that the 'day the music died' from the American Pie song is really referring to the day that the plane carrying Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper, crashed? NOW YOU KNOW!!

Also: Did you know that The Hollies were initially a tribute band to Buddy Holly, and eventually started writing their own songs and became a full-fledge band? YES!!

Ok, goodnight.

I'm expecting my first couchsurfer to arrive tomorrow! How exciting. In case you haven't heard about couchsurfing.org, it's an online network of people from all over the world who are up for meeting/ hosting travellers to their cities! I plan to couchsurf the larger part (if not all) of my Eurotrip 1, Summer 09. I have only settled my accomodation in Bucharest, and 2 nights in Malta so far. Not the greatest. Will have to keep emailing.

I got Edgar hooked onto it too! I am now his only friend on couchsurfing (CS) hahahahhahaa... He's going to see if he can email some people to meet up/ crash at their place.

Also, I made pasta (at 11pm) for my lunch tomorrow. Please be impressed.

One question: What is the deal with the WORDPRESS craze?!

One more question: How do you respond to the question "Do you think your ex is gay?"

On one hand, there is his pride to consider. And it is something I would like to keep intact in all its straight man glory. On the other hand, there is MY pride to consider. While anyone with any sense can see that just because this rumor/speculation/gossip sprouted after we broke up, does not mean one thing led to another. Correlation does not equate causation, as my Psychology professor used to chant. BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU some idiot will say "Omg Max, you made him turn gay." The insinuation is of course that I am so foul a sample of a female that he was completely turned off women after me.

In the ideal world, if he REALLY turned gay (I really can't tell you since I haven't talked to him in ages), I would be telling him about my boy troubles and meeting for coffee. I'm glad I met him before then. He was a good boyfriend... It's unfortunate the fire died down for me.

In the theme of gay men, and as a token of my undying affection for them, here is Lily Allen:

My New Cat!!

 

 

 

 

So I adopted a friend's cat after she graduated. His name is Murphy. He is a rascal, but too adorable to remain angry with ever... I am also allergic to him, which means he sleeps in the living room... And I have started taking allergy-relieving pills every other day...

My senior returns to the US after 1 year for grad school, which is perfect since I graduate next year. He shall be returned to his rightful owner then! Hopefully I don't grow tooooo attached to this furball. Aw.

Quite a pain to have to take care of something alive though.

It's also hard to type when he's sleeping on your lap and using your arm as a pillow...

Sitting in the frigid concert hall in Humanities at 8 am in the morning for my Rock and Roll of America class. Nothing like Little Richard yelling Good Golly Miss Molly at you in the morning to start your day :) I grew up listening to Tutti Frutti and Jenny, Jenny. Hearing these songs on a lonely rainy day like today brings me back home. Like a hot cup of Milo :)

So apparently RnR (Rock and Roll) started from the Blues. I need to listen to more Blues. I've lost touch with such music. I used to listen to Big Band, Blues, Jazz, Swing... and RnR (which now we know, is really Blues, just with a different beat). Now all I listen to is Pop and Dance/Techno. Time to switch it up. I just asked my teacher for a Louis Jordan album... Here he is anyway, for a sampling:

Everyone's suddenly getting new blogs and updating with everyday mundan-ities. (I love making up nouns.)

I'm excited to be updated. Haha. I am thankful for interesting friends, especially now when I feel so physically distanced from all of them. Plus, school's out, so the campus is pretty empty. I spend my free time with my Singaporean substitutes for my friends from home, and I can't help but feel that it's not quite the same. I don't think I will ever see them as friends the way I see my friends from home. You guys are just irreplaceable. Aw.

As I plan for my Europe trip this Summer, I constantly feel like the world is too big for me. Kinda like when someone presents you with a ginormoushumongousenormouslicious birthday cake (I also love making up adjectives) and you're like 'OMG I WANNA EAT YOU BUT WHERE SHOULD I START?! EVERYTHING LOOKS SO YUMMY!' And the thing about this birthday cake is it's very expensive to change where you start eating from. So if I start eating the rosebuds (lets assume there are rosebuds) then halfway around I realise there are chocolate truffles as well (also assumed) I can't just hop over to eat chocolate truffles. I have to pay 100 euros to change my route... of chomping.

WOW that was a really weird analogy. But I hope you get my point - the world is a present to me (and the rest of you too, I suppose) and I'm just going to have to take my time to enjoy it.

I've always been the sort to rip open the wrapper though. :S

Why do we always wonder about the ones that got away?

It's like they exist so that we're never happy with what we have.

Damn you all.

Sometimes I worry I don't live up to expectations.

Then I worry if I have the right expectations. If I have MY expectations, or are they just assumed from someone else? Someone who doesn't necessarily know what's best for me. Where am I picking up all these random expectations? Mom? My friends? The Company? SOCIETY? Are they right?

Am I pushing myself hard enough? Ah, finals week. Such a wonderful time.

We all do it - laugh off our shortcomings. But sometimes, it's really just a cry for attention. Boohoo.

Time to keep pushing! The end is NIGH, my friends! ONWARDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(What I really mean to say is LAST FINAL TOMORROW, BITCHES, HEEEEELLL YEEEEAAAA)

I should be studying. 2 midterms on Monday; 1 final on Tuesday. Then I'm done hohoho celebration time come onnnnn!

Anyway, was sidetracking from studying before the blogging. At the site to pick classes for the Summer/ Fall. Many of the classes I wanted to take in the Summer are full. Damn it. Things are complicated by the fact that I have to submit an approval form to the Company if I take Summer classes (since they cost extra). I already am approved for 2 classes, one of which I am considering dropping.

Last week the Company sent me an email:

Your request has been approved.
You are not allowed to change or drop these classes.
You are to submit transcripts of your classes upon completion.

There goes my hope of changing classes. I might plead non-guilty by virtue of the fact that the class is full. Hence I have to change. This is true though, so technically I should do that. But my back-up plan has to be solid first - I plan to take lab for credit! While getting paid. So I have to discuss this with my professor first...

There is too much scheming involved. I just want to take a friggin class for my Humanities requirement, damn it.

Where's a lucky break when you need one?

3rd fight of the relationship.

our fights are all really wimpy. they're more like discussions where we're both really disagreeable. we're just such non-aggressive people we make for such unsatisfactory arguments.

i know he hates it when i get emo/angry with him, and he get angry with it. but we both try not to be angry with each other.

we're so weird.

i hope everything works out fine on tues. i should stop being mad by tomorrow morning. i think he stopped being mad about 20 mins ago.

What a gorgeous day out today. The perfect day for a tea party, organized by Global Connections (of course). The sun was out, perfect cloudless brilliant blue sky, marred only by the occasional (chilly) breeze. Whatever, I still was able to wear my summer dress which made me very, very happy :D It was very quaint - each table had tea from a different country, and there was scones, fruits and carrot cake (the angmoh kind). White tea cups, white plates, white table cloths, white tentage... It was nice to feel all proper and girly. Heehee.

Had to study for my French exam today though :( Tried to make myself feel better by studying 'outside' (i.e. out of the house, but still indoors i.e. at a cafe nearby) Worked somewhat I guess. Although I really need to stop spending money unnecessarily. I'm over-budget for April (after going over budget for March :/) after buying my tickets to London/ Malta/ Italy. Hoping to make back that money by working for my prof over summer.

Had the Seniors Night dinner/ celebrations for the Singaporeans last night. It was pretty fun, and I got to hang out with the Singaporeans that I don't usually hang out with. Somewhat sad to see them go. Even though we're not close, there's definitely a bond. And gatherings won't be the same without them, just because they're such a large batch. 不会那么热闹了。。。 :(

Today was a day of mild internal turmoil as well. I've been stressing out about what to do for HIS birthday, and today when I ask him if he's free he says he might go to Milwaukee. Well, that wasn't what made me annoyed. What was annoying was the WAY he said it. He made it seem like he'd rather go with his friends than spend it with me. After so long, I'm still not sure how he feels about me. He doesn't seem very enthusiastic when it comes to spending time with me. Yet he always tells me otherwise, albeit in a not-that-enthusiastic voice.

I think the thing that bothers me more is the fact that I feel like I'm losing my enthusiasm for this as well. The honeymoon period is definitely ending, and I'm not sure if we're reaching the end of the line. The thing is, he likes spending time with his friends and by himself so much. I know for sure that on the list of important people, I'm probably around 6... If I even hit the Top 10. And well, I don't like that. It's a major love-buzz killer. Zzz -_-''

Lucy tells me that if I think that it's going to end, it will end for sure.

I think that he told me that a little too late.

Drunk post alert.

My favourite part of the night is definitely the walk home. That's the time when the most honest and ridiculous comments about life and love turn up.

It was about 9C outside. We walked fast.

The conversation was good though.

We learn to forget, either because we're distracted or we force ourselves to. There's something strangely intriguing about the ones that got away. It's like a challenge, that I want to conquer. But I can't, because I have obligations to one that has been conquered.

Do I love him?

Going to 2 themed parties tonight 1. 'classy, but trashy' and 2. 90's. So I think to myself how can I look dressy in the 90s?

Solution: 'denim' stirrup leggings and a belted pastel orange striped shirt borrowed from Edgar (Just so that it's long enough to cover my ass. As Timmie very astutely pointed out - leggings are NOT pants.) Finish the look with a half pony to the side (only for the 90's party; hair to be sleek for the dressy party).

If only I had shoulder pads.

I actually have a white blazer but I think I may just tip the trashy scale with that.

Last night was a really fun night too, I should talk about that.

So last night this student org I'm in (Global Connections) had a Europop dance party!! It was reeaally fun!! I got to wear my shiny/trashy/wannabe-Ciara jersey top with my grey platform heels. The DJ played Kylian Mash (I like to think it was because I asked her to) and other awesome heart-thumping techno/dance Europop music. I love.




It was quite a scary night because there was potentially only 6 people who would be there all night - US. There's just something about this campus. People are so bloody lazy to come out to events, especially if they're not on the weekend. Luckily after about an hour a horde of people (about 20 I kid you not) all dressed like eurotrash came in! Yayy for over-enthusiastic and mildly awkward people!!!!

I might repeat Europop on a smaller scale for myself. It was like a small taste of clubbing back home... AHHHHH. I wish I had a party-conducive home, and a maid to clean up the mess after. Also wish I had the time and energy to organize parties.

Anyway finals are in 2 weeks. I can't believe I'm almost done with the semester! Time has officially broken the sound barrier. I can't wait for the summer... Even though it doesn't feel like it (it's still about 15C outside) it's going to be such a welcome break. All I have to do is go to one class, and work at the lab. I'll probably have homework and all, but at least I won't let my brain rot... Like the vegetables in my fridge :\

Then in June, I'm going to London/Malta/Italy to meet up with Smrits and Lucyboy!!! AHHHHHH I CAN'T WAITTTTTTT I am going to be absolutely broke after this, but I hope it's worth it. I'm always excited to go someplace I've never been before. Then again, there's so many places I've never been to. I'm also excited because I'm going to couch surf in Malta. I've never couch surfed before so this should be really exciting. I'm not doing it alone though, I have more sense than that. So fret not my dears, I shall be safe (and try to blog frequently.)

Anyway, Ness baked pineapple tarts. I can smell them from here. Time to go outside and sample some :D It's so awesome to have a Martha Stewart at home.

In my efforts to keep the people at home (and fellow uprooted scattered Singaporeans) updated, I shall try to blog more frequently, and less philosophically. Beware: The Mundane ahead.

So today at home, Ness and Timmie made sticky buns. This sounds rather obscene but it's nothing but sugary deliciousness. It's really like a lighter less indulgent version of the cinnamon rolls I love so nearly and dearly from St Cinnamon's before they disappeared off the face of the island. I have included a drool-inducing picture:


The week hasn't been that crazy but due to my fabulous time-management skills I've managed to deprive myself of sufficient sleep since Monday. Finally today with the gorgeous weather (it was SUNNY in MADISON in 'Spring") I got a headache and red eye (singular, not plural). My prof even took pity on me and let me get out of lab early. :o

In other happier news, my ballroom dancing exam went well today! Our instructor treated us to a performance at the end of it. He's such fabulous old gay man (I don't know for sure but I'm pretty certain he is) I love him!



Now wasn't that just darling?

We're learning swing dance next, can't wait :D

It's been a long time since I last wrote here.

Having been living outside of a cave, I have a lot to update. But obviously I won't because I'm too bloody lazy.

Awake at midnight on a school night :O
I haven't had one of those nights in a long time, where I'm kept awake by my thoughts.
It's been even longer since I had one of those night where you're kept awake by someone else's thoughts.
I've been starved of a nice long pensive talk so long I'm resorting to talking to myself... Once again. I used to make tiny revelations daily that made me realise how lucky or unlucky I am... These days I just try to make it to class, to lab, and to bed. (Note the absence of: to gym) All rather meaningless really.

So here I am, the occasional entry, an attempt to inject some pseudo-philosophical larger-than-thou meaning back into my life.

Kept awake by my lack of thoughts.

Sometimes I have to admire Life's sense of humour as much as I hate it.